I'm Just Here For The Food

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Vientiane

Entering a new county just doesn't have the same thrill anymore, at least not like it did when I fist landed in Vietnam. I think it's because when you enter a new place, especially by plane, it all looks the same. The excitement isn't from just being there, but it now comes fom what I experience there. I mean when I got off the plane in Hanoi, I know I was somewhere else, it was jsut so different then whee I had been. All of this is to say, that when I landed in Vientiane Lao, I wasn't eally excited to 'be in Lao', but by the end of the day all that changed.

Everyone I had talked to about their travels always said Lao was one of thei favourite counties. I was only planning on spending a week here, but eveyone's opinion made me think differently, maybe I thought, I should give it more time. We'll see. I'm in no rush. I have just under two months to go, and Lao and Thailand are really the only counties I have left to visit (Sory Malaysia). So with that, I took a flight from Siem Reap to Vientiane, a city I was told, that just wasn't worth a lot of time. Further North is supposedly better.

In a lot of ways people turned out to be right about Vientiane, it is rather dull, and only worth a few days, but it has its charm, and I think it was a good introduction to Lao. The first thing you notice in Lao, and which is a little off putting at first is that no one really pays attension to you, they just kind of ignore you, but not in a rude way. At first you think there is something wrong, and then suddenly it clicked for me. Lao is the country I wished every county was like. There are no people trying to sell you stuff every few feet. If you say no to one tuk-tuk driver all the rest don't harass you for rides. Lao just kind of lets you be to do your own thing. If you need a tuk-tuk you know where to find them. IT'S AWESOME. You can actually catch your breath, open a guide book, and not suddenly be surounded by kids. Lao might just be the best country in South East Asia.

It also might be the best county because of two other things: Beer Lao, which is definitly the best beer in South East Asia, and I can't wait to try Beer Lao Dark. The other is Lap (or Laap, Larp, Larb). This stuff is awesome. I've made Larp at home, but never knew what it was supposed to taste like and now I do. Larp is so good, that I think I might have to dedicate an entie post to it, so you just have to wait fo pictures. I'm also going to see if thee is a cooking course so I can learn it myself. Lao is geat. Might be time to look into that Visa extension.

So how did I spend my first day in Lao? Well I went to a Buddhist monestay out in the woods and got an herbal sauna and an hour massage all for $4. It was quite the experience. You enter the gates of the monestary and walk a path until you reach this bamboo stilt house. There you undress, put on a sarong, and go sit in a sauna infused with herbs, and just sweat your ass off as the herbs penetrate your skin and lungs. It was crazy hot in there, and at times you felt as if you couldn't breathe. After getting out you sit there and have some tea while you cool down, and wait for your massage. The massage itself was unlike any other. They bent me in ways no should be, but it felt great, and after a long day of travelling it was a great stess relief. You look beside you, and there's a monk just being manhandled like you just were. It's very cool. Not a bad way to begin in Lao, not bad at all

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Wednesday, February 22, 2006

In the Shadow of Angkor

I really just don't know how to describe the temples of Angkor. I took countless pictures, and while I do think I got some cool shots, I don't think any of them do it justice. It's like as soon as you but a border around it, it just loses its...oh I don't know impact? No that doesn't seem right. Grandeur? Presence? Someone help me out here. What the pictures just can't tell you is the scope of the place. It's massive, and so detailed, you can either get a far shot, and lose the detail, or take a close up and lose the context. Does that make any sense? I think it's really like the Grand Canyon. You can see countless pictures, but you can't really get a sense of the enormity of it until you're actually there. You have to see it to believe it, for lack of a better cliche.

I spent my four days in Siem Reap with Miles and Catherine, and I couldn't have asked for nicer travel partners. How they put up with me all those days I'll never know. I felt like a third wheel at times, but there was no point where they ever MADE me feel like I was. So anyway we arrive in Siem Reap (me by cheap bus, they by speedboat, which was supposedly awesome), and decide to try some of the local cuisine. Now I've eaten at Cambodian Village (Cambo)at least one a week for about 3 years, so I was curious to see what real Cambodian cuisine was like. There were a lot of similarities to Cambo, but not a lot. The curries were similar, and such, but there was a lot different as well. Cambodian cuisine is a lot like Thai food only less spicy. The two dishes that seemed to be on all the menus, yet never seen at home are Fish Amok, which is a yellow curry dish served in a coconut, and is damn good. The other is Lok Lak, a fried beef dish that is served in a oysterish type sauce along with onions and tomatoes. That too was pretty tasty.

The next day we woke up early (well Miles and Catherine got up early, I overslept and almost missed the sunrise) to see the sunrise over Angkor Wat. We then spent the day traveling from temple to temple. Miles was having a grand old time scambling up the stairs, and it was pretty fun to watch. The Angkors wanted to play with perception so the entryways are rather small, and the steps are huge and steep. You feel like a 3 year old trying to climb those things, and coming down is worse. WE saw a lot of temples, but I think my favourite was Ta Preach, which the archaeologists left almost like they found it, so it's over grown with trees and plants. The trees are growing on the temples, so its really a cool sight. The Bayon was also pretty cool, since there are about 200 faces staring at you all the time.

One of the other things that stick out are the kids. They're everywhere, and they are always selling you something. They're so cute though, you can't help but want to buy something. The thing is is that if you buy from them all, the day would cost $200. I kid you not, that's how many ask. The cold drinks are hard to pass up, but three wooden flutes for a dollar never really interested me. I felt sorry for those kids, you wonder what they did wrong to get stuck selling that crap. "Oh sorry Timmy, you're just not cute enough to sell Soda...here's a flute, good luck". One kid who totally suckered me was the one selling little metal deities. He was "1 for $2" and they were kind of neat so I said "3 for $5?" "where you from?" "Canada" "If name the capital of Canada you buy 4 for $6" There was the set-up, and I knew I was being set up, these kids take money seriously. I still went for it. "The capital of Canada is Ottawa" What can you do, the kid was good. How can you not reward knowledge like that. Catherine, Miles and I talked about it later, and thought of countries to stump them. I thought of Malta, but then I would have no idea either. We figured since Katherine and miles were form the UK, we would try Wales next time. "The capital of Wales is Cardiff" DAMN IT! The kid got us again, that's two days in a row. The kids know how to work it. Is it wrong that I bought a Ganisha statue purely because of Apu in the Simpsons? Homer, please do not offer my god a peanut.

One other highlight was the Omelet lady. Seriously, best omelet I've ever had. Miles and Catherine raved about them, but I had ordered Pho the first time (which was also excellent), so out last day we had to go back. The lady was so nice! She remembered us, and even gave us the menu with local prices instead of the tourist menu. She even gave one of the kids crap, for trying to rip me off on cigarettes. Truly a wonderful lady. I guess the same is true everywhere, if you show appreciation for someone's food, you'll win their heart, and this lady knew how to cook, so it was easy to show appreciation. Oh and I hope she appreciates the fact that since my Mother owns a Bed and Breakfast, I'm totally going to be disowned.

The last day after eating the omelet, we just hung out at Angkor Wat and soaked up the atmosphere. It was quite nice to sit on some hundreds of years old building and read a good book, and hang out with good people. It was a nice way to finish my time with Miles and Catherine. Later that day, they left for Bangkok, and were then flying home, and I was leaving the next day for Laos.









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Olympics! What Olympics?

I've seen none of it. I want Hockey damn it, but no, everywhere you go all you see is Soccer. Fuck Soccer! I was walking around Phnom Penh and heard some sports broadcast, so I went to check it out, and it was the WWE Royal Rumble. You have got to be fucking kidding me.

I crave Olympic hockey. I'm also going to be missing the start of The Amazing Race for the first time EVER. This...doesn't tick me off so much. Why watch, when you can experience right? I can't experience Olympic Hockey though, so damn you SE Asia, damn you and your no snow tropical climate to hell.

I'm going to go get a tan now.

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Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Goodnight Vietnam

So after a month of traveling, I've left Vietnam for Cambodia. I thought this would be a good time to reflect of Vietnam as a whole, as so far all I've really done is try to give a snapshot of the cities themselves, and my experiences there.

Top 5 Things about Vietnam

1. The Food- It was cheap, it was tasty, and I couldn't stop eating it. Every region seemed to change the style a bit, and there were regional specialties, but everywhere you went whether it was eating on the street, to fine dining the food was great. The highlight was definitely the spring rolls and the Pho, it's just not the same in North America, no matter how hard they try. The best meal was probably in Hoi An, but the dinner with the Tay family in Ban Ho Village was truly the best dining experience in Vietnam. Just to sit in this ramshackle kitchen watching her prepared 7-10 dishes all on this open fire which was being feed with bamboo, was truly an awesome sight. I wish I could have shared photos of it with you, but those were the pictures that were lost with the camera.

2. Bia Hoi Bars- Go to a street corner grab a plastic stool, and join the people cramped together drinking their $.10 beer. The stuff isn't just cheap, its also quite drinkable..well in most places anyway. It was really just an enjoyable experience, and really let you know you were in Vietnam.

3. Sapa- Of all the places I saw, be it the Karsts of Ha Long bay, or the beautiful pagodas and temples, nothing touches Northern Vietnam. The moutains went on forever, and all of them had these rice paddy terraces carved into the side. It truly was a magical place, and a place I would go back to in a heartbeat.

4. Motorbikes- TOO MUCH FUN!!!! I need one of those badly. There was nothing like speeding through the streets of Hanoi dodging cars left and right, and feeling like you were seconds away from eminent danger. Then I got to Hoi An, and saw that while riding on one is great, driving them is infinitely better, it also was great just to have your own ride, and the freedom to go anywhere at anytime.

5. Australians- TOO MUCH FUN!!! Anywhere I went as long as there were Australians, I was bound to have a good time. If they're that much fun when they're away from home, I'd hate to think of what they're like back in Australia.

Top 3 Worst things about Vietnam

1. The lack of respect for space- I don't know what else to call it really. Except for the physical space you're directly occupying, the Vietnamese will try to occupy all other space. Orderly lines don't exists, and the sidewalks are pretty much just parking lots for motos. All that doesn't really bother me, but in Canada, people will give you the space you may soon be in, and this just doesn't happen in Vietnam. I was walking along the street in Saigon, and this guy pulls his motor in front of me, and instead of waiting for me to clear the area, and then parking his bike, he just pulls it in front of me and parks it. Now on either side of me were vendors, so I had to turn around and walk back a ways to get around. It really is a little thing, but it's constant and got on my nerves in the end.

2. The Honking- They are horn crazy over there, and the cites are just a constant drone of horns.

3. The Buses. The seats are small, the AC doesn't work, the drivers are rude, and the trip takes 10X longer than it should. Those two 12 hour bus rides were some of the worst rides of my life.

Now I didn't include the Vietnamese in any of those lists, and I'm not exactly sure where to put them, and I don't think you can classify a nation that easily. Well you can, but you wouldn't be doing them justice. I met some rude Vietnamese, and I met some of the nicest people I ever expect to find anywhere. Sure you're constantly harassed everywhere you go to buy something or take a ride, but you have a lot of money (you could afford to travel to Vietnam), and they don't, so you just have to take it. Doesn't mean you have to like it though. Sometimes I just want to pull out a map, get my bearing and carry on. I don't need people as soon as I stop trying to sell me postcards, or take me to where I want to go, and make it so you just have to leave, and you never get your bearings. Friends of mine were spat on my Hmong girls for not buying enough stuff, that's just not right, no matter where you are.

That being said I loved the Vietnamese, and after awhile you kind of just get used to it and go with the flow. One thing that always stayed with me is just how good the Vietnamese sense of humour is. They laugh constantly, and they're very easy to joke around with, as long as you don't bring irony and sarcasm into it, but I don't think it's because they don't get it, it's because thier English isn't good enough, or I guess I should say YOUR Vietnamese isn't good enough. The adults laugh, the kids laugh, and they just know how to have fun. They know how to Play, and I think a lot more Westerers could learn something from that.

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Phnom Penh- The Good


Phnom Penh started out pretty well, as I had made friends with a girl from Toronto, and we went looking at some places around the lake. That night we just sat on the patio and enjoyed the view of the lake, and chatted about our travels. Meagen was near the end of her trip, and was soon to meet her father in Nepal so they could do some trekking together which was kind of cool. The lake district of Phnom Penh is basically a Backpackers enclave, with nothing but Guesthouse, internet cafes and cheap restaurants, and it was great. I kind of like when everyone is grouped together like that. Reminds me of the student ghetto at Queen's. You're always running into people you've met from other places, and its just a nice place to relax after visiting the sights of Phnom Penh.

The next day I went to the Lazy Gecko cafe, and had one of the best breakfasts of my life. Now I love Pho, but man can not live on noodles alone. They served a full English breakfast with eggs, beans, toast, fries, bacon, and sausage, all with your own bodum filled with good coffee. One thing I haven't mentioned yet is that in Vietnam if you order "Milk Coffee" you get a cup of coffee with a little metal thing above the cup where the water filters through. The milk...sweetened condensed milk. It makes for some seriously sweet coffee, so it was nice to get regular coffee for a change. Megan walked by, and joined me, but she couldn't go see the sights because her friend was meeting her in a day or so, and she promised to wait to see the major ones with her. So after the hearty breakfast I left to go see the sights of Phnom Penh.

At the killing fields I ran into Thomas, Miles and Catherine form the boat tour, and they invited me to join them for dinner at the Foreign Correspondants Club that night. I tried to find Megan to get her to come with me, but I couldn't find her. It was too bad, because I never ended up running into her again. Now the FCC is exactly like you would expect it to be, a French looking place filled with tourists and Ex-pats, and it was quite a nice setting for dinner, because sometimes you really just need a good burger. Don't worry I did eat some Khmer cusine from a street vendor for lunch, so I haven't totally reverted back to Western eating. After dinner we went back to their guesthouse and just shat the shit by the lake, and drank too much beer. It was really a good time, becaue at that point we had gone through all the regular traveller getting to know you stuff, and could actually have real conversations about things. I've met a lot of people on my trip so far, but I don't think I've enjoyed the company of people, as much as I have those three. Miles and Catherine did stand Thomas and I up for breakfast at the Lazy Gecko though...turns out they were a little too hungover for get out of bed on time.

Phnom Penh is a fasinating city, but you kind of have to did deep to find the charm. It's kind of an anything goes kind of place, be it guns, drugs or prostitution but that's not really a bad thing. The Cambodian people are incredibly nice, and always have a smile for you. Sure they're always trying to sell you something, but they aren't nearly as pushy as the Vietnamese, and they do try to be genuinely helpful. All I had to do was walk the street of the backpackers ghetto, and you would be greeted by everyone you met, be it the lady that sold you cigarettes, or the moto driver you had two days ago. I really wasn't expceting to like Phnom Penh, and it does have its flaws, but if you're looking for a ncie place to chill out and relax, its definietly a place to do that.

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Phnom Penh - The Bad & The Ugly


I wasn't really expecting much from Phnom Penh. I had heard that there wasn't much there, it was really poor, and pretty much to pass through on the way to Siem Reap. Well there isn't really much to do, it is insanely poor, but the place has this weird energy, that I really got into, and wish I could have stayed a bit longer. There really aren't that many sights to see, and the city is so spread out that you can't really walk it, like you could the Old Quarter of Hanoi. The Royal Palace and Silver Pagoda are pretty nice, and it was good to see an architectural change from the Vietnamese. The two main attractions, if you can even call them that though, are Tuol Sleng Museum, and The Killing Fields, both haunting reminders of the devastation that Pol Pot delivered to his own country in the 1970's. My first stop was the Tuol Sleng Prison (S-21), and as soon as you enter, you just want to leave. What used to be a school, was then turned into prison by Pol Pot, and thousands upon thousands were tortured and put to there death. The museum contains photos of bodies that were found there, killed in the final days of Pol Pot's regime, and there are also cells that held the captives. One of the major displays however is the hundreds and hundreds of photos taken of the prisoners upon arrival. It's just walls of pictures of men , women and children, and it's just impossible to imagine what they went through, although nearly all were fated for death. It was just too overwhelming.

The next stop was The Killing Fields, which was the final destination of most of the prisoners of Tuol Sleng. They were put in mass graves and buried, and the land is covered with overgrown holes where the bodies were buried. In the center is a memorial Stupa which houses the skulls of those bodies that were found, and then later given a proper burial. The craziest part of all that, is that there is a shooting range across the street where for various amounts you can fire pretty much nay weapon of your choice, be it AK-47 to a rocket launcher. Supposedly you're allowed to fire a rocket launcher at a live cow if you so desire, but you would have to be one sick fuck to do that. The weird thing is ,is that your moto driver with offer to take you to both, without a trace of irony in their voice. That should tell you something about Cambodia.

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Sunday, February 19, 2006

Life on the Mekong


It's only about a 7 hour bus ride to get from Saigon to Phnom Penh Cambodia, but to tell you the truth I was sick of bus rides. You either travel at night and can't see anything, or you travel by day passing beautiful places, that you can't really appreciate since you're driving by so quickly. With that in mind I decided to do a three day boat tour of the Mekong Delta. It was great. The fist boat kind of sucked, but the people were nice, and the views were great. We also got to stop in villages along the way, and see various stages of rice production. From harevesting, to the making of rice paper, and Vietnamese Rice Krispies treats. It was insanely touristy, but there were always free samples, so I wasn't about to complain.

Once again, just like the Halong Bay tour, there were quite a mix of people, but most were great. There were a few overbearing tourists, but they were easy enough to avoid. The group shrank after the night in Can Tho, as the three dayers went on to Chau Duc, and the two dayers went back to Saigon, so that was kind of a bit better. We then went to a floating market which was cool, and all the boats, have tied to their masts, what it is they're selling, so you kind of cruise along till you find what you like, or they find you. We got found by a pineapple boat, and I think we made their day. We all must have bought 20 pineapples (all cut the way I described in the Hoi An post). After the floating market we headed back to Can Tho to change boats.

This gave us some time to tour the city a bit, and I found this guy selling the most amazing sandwiches on the street. It was a bagette spread with an herbal pesto (maybe cilantro based), and then he put in a few skewers of Vietnamese sausages. This was then topped with sauted onions, and picked carrots and cabbage. Hot sauce and fish sauce were then added, and all this for 3000 dong (about $.20). Why I didn't buy 10 is beyond me. I did have an ice cream cone though, and that was pretty great as well. Then it was on to the new boat. This, was the best boat ever! It had a roof top deck, and beer, what more could you ask for. The boat trip was a few hours and we got to see the sun set on the Mekong. Boats really are such a nice way to travel. So much better then the bumpy potholed roads of south-east asia.

We spent the night in Chau Duc, and the bugs were insane. The mosquitos weren't that bad, but the Gnats or whatever were everywhere. The next day we were off to the Cambodian border, and dispite the fact that I had forgotten another passport photo. We all got through without a hassle, and unfortuneatly we got on a crap boat that took us to Phnom Penh, because the fast boat had been impounded by the police!

Over all the trip was great, and I met some amazing people. I even met a girl who had graduated from Queen's a few years ago (although we figured out that I hadn't TA'ed her), so we passed the time talking aobut Kingston, and the south-east asian food there. I alos met an English couple (Katherine and Miles) who were on their honeymoon, and a German guy (Thomas). We all got along pretty well, and ended up hanging out in Phnom Penh, and then Siem Reap. The best part of the trip though was definietly the view, I also kept getting this Apocalypse Now vibe while tooling up the Mekong, which was also pretty fun.

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Monday, February 13, 2006

The Sketchiest Night of my Life

I'm 33, I've had plenty of sketchy nights. I've seen friends get chased with Tire Irons, been threatened with a knife, and surrounded by a bus load of pissed off Huskies fans after the Vanier Cup. And those are just the night I care to mention, I mean my Mom's reading this. The other night in Saigon though...Sketchiest night of my life.

It started in the Pham Ngo Lao region of Saigon which is the main backpackers area. The German guy I was hanging out with, Greg, who is hearing impaired, and has a bit of a speach impediment, along with a German accent, has this weird obsession with finding a Vietnamese girl. We see all these Western people with Vietnamese women, and he's like "How do they get them? Are they all being paid?" It's like he thinks that every single one of them just landed here like he did, and were handed a Vietnamese girl on arrival. So needless to say, he feels his missing out. He doesn't want to pay a prostitute, but he wants to hang out with one it seems. Great people I find while traveling. So we're sitting in the GO2 bar, and Gregs getting more and more pissed off. "There must be somewhere else everyone is going, we need to find that place". Whatever, I'm just along for the ride, and I feel like beer, so I could care less. Of course the idiot hasn't looked in the Lonely Planet or anything for good night clubs, so I'm not about to tell him about Apocalypse Now, which is supposedly a happening place. So we finish our drinks and start walking the streets. Greg goes off to look for something and a moto driver asks if I want women or something, and I say no, just as Greg walks up the driver mentions Apocalypse. FUCK! Greg wants to go, and since I'm in the mood for beer I reluctantly agree. So we hop on and head there. The place is pretty packed, and looking good, so we settle down for a drink, but After 20 minutes Greg wants to leave. WHAT??? Turns out there were too many gays there (who the fuck am I hanging out with) At this point I just want to go home, but Greg on a mission, and I feel I'm along for the ride. So we walk out side and find our moto drivers and he says he'll take us to another place. DAMN IT! Well the next place is empty, and I'm getting a bad feeling about this. WE ask where everyone is. "Upstairs." is the answer. OK time to leave the place is a brothel. Next place, same thing. I just want to get back to Pham Ngo Lao, and go home. Luckily Greg agrees and we go back. On the way to the hostel we pass the Guns and Roses bar, and Greg wants a drink. At this point, I need a drink, so we go in. The place is full of drunk Westerners,and prostitutes. Great!

Now I have no problem with prostitution as a career choice. Not conceptually anyway. I even think it should be legalized, so that more control will be handed over to the girls. That being said I want nothing to do with sleeping with a hooker. It might be the best sex I've ever had, but that would be the end of sleeping with girls back in North America. It's not so much that I think the girls are dirty, but I can guarantee that the guys are. They've probably slept with hookers all over the world, and I ain't touching that shit. I can understand why the girls do it though. All of the ones that I've talked to are doing it to support their family, and you can see why. Vietnam pays like crap. A tour guide, just to pick a job that also deals with tourists, probably pays only a few dollars a day, maybe a little more. A hooker charge $70 a night, and since they don't appear to have pimps, they get to keep all that. That's a ton for these families, so I can see why they make the choice. It's sad that they do have to choose that, but I can see why they do, especially if they don't have an education, which most don't. Plus, most of the one's I've talked to say that the Westeren men treat them better than the Asian men, so I guess that's a plus. Now that that's out of the way, back to the sketchiness.

So we go into the bar, and start talking with these fat Americans Business men who are out for a night on the town. They're looking for a friend who seems to have disappeared, and they have no idea where. Off in the alley, off with a girl? They have no idea. Greg is enjoying the show, and I have to admit so am I. It's just such a weird scene that I can't help but enjoy it. I mean I know how I'm getting home, so there is no worry for me. Greg on the other hand is starting to look interested. Some girls come over to us, and one of them wants to trade Earrings and nose rings with me. I try to tell her that hers wouldn't quite match the look I'm going for, but she just finds that funny. These girls know how to work the charm. I mean there is now of that "Me so Horny, me love you long Time" stereotypical crap going on. These girls are nice, and superfreindly. Again, these girls know what they're going, and they do it well. It's working on Greg.

Greg and I extricate ourselves from the girls, and head over to the bar where this young Vietnamese guys invites us over to chat, and to help him finish the bottle of Tequilla he has. Now if you know me (and if you don't, Hi, I'm Peter, nice to meet you), you know my feeling on Tequilla, so I passed. The guy is nice, and we're just shooting the shit, watching the girls and guys do their thing when the girl beside us goes off to buy this guy a pack of smokes. While she's gone, we ask him how its going, and he's like "She keeps buying me drinks, but I'm not going home with her, so I don't know why she's doing it" RIGHT! Whatever dude. He might actually believe what he's saying butthe way he acts with the girl, tells the room something else. The girls name is Lan, and she starts talking with us about stuff, and she starts to make catty remarks about the other girls. "That girls boobs are fake, that one's really a guy..." It's getting weird, but funnier than hell, and I'm at a loss for what I've gotten myself into. Lan then starts showing us pictures of her family and friends, and she had two damn cute kids.

So the evening is weird, but I'm having a good relaxed time, when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn and their is this English guy inches from my face. "You good?" He asks. Yeah I'm good. "So you're OK?" Yeah I'm fine, thanks for asking. "Are you good I ask" Yeah I'm good he replys. The whole time he's just staring at me, and I'm not sure if he's just trying to focus, or if he's trying to get into a fight. Great I think, I'm going to get into a bar fight in a hooker joint in Saigon. My Mother is going to be so proud." He asks me again if I'm OK and this goes on for minutes. He then asks if Greg and I want a drink which I decline, and Greg accepts. The guy makes no move to get the drinks, and we just keep staring at each other. I'm not goign to turn my back on this guy, and I just keep getting a bad feeling about the whole situation. Finally I offer him a drink, which he accepts. Now if there is one thing I've leaned over the years it's that if there is one thing a drunk likes more than fights, it's another drink. This bit of info has served me well over the years, and if the guy still wants to fight, well then he's that much drunker, so it's really a win-win situation.

Fianlly the guy goes away, and I turn to Greg, that we need to get the fuck out of there now. He's just ordered a drink though, so it looks like we're stuck, since there is no way I'm leaving by myself. Some more girls come over and chat with us, but leave when I say I don't pay. We start chatting with Lan again, and I can tell Greg is into her. He's also pretty drunk at this point, and in true German fashion, it also means he's getting more agressive and confrontational. He keeps pulling Lan over to ask her the stupidest questions, and now he's just pissing me off. Lan makes it clear that she's with that other guy, and buys us a round of drinks, which we politely accept, I mean it was a no strings attached drink from a hooker, how can you say no. To make matters worse the drunk English guy comess back to say that no one likes my kind. MY KIND???? It's like the scene in Star Wars where Luke enters the Mos Eisley Cantina, and that guy goes "My friend doesn't like you....I don't like you either" Yeah it's just like that, but with a smelly English guy as opposewd to Aliens. Americans he means. "American? I'm Canadian, everyone likes us" I say. Now that wasn't really a lie, but it wasn't totally the truth though, but I'm not about to give this guy the satisfaction of telling him I'm American. "Canadians are the same as Americans," he says. Now those are fighting words. Fuck this guy, he just really pissed me off. Then I make some commnet about how Canada at least has a mind of its own, and how GWB's hand is so far up Tony Blairs ass, it's not even funny. This makes matters worse. At this point though I could really care less, this guy is bugging the crap out of me and I've had enough. A few minuites go by, and then he asks "So are you OK" Fuck what is with this guy and that damn stupid questions. Finally the guys leaves oddly enough with the missing guy from earlier. Lan leaves with the Aussie guy (told ya!), and at 4am, we finally leave. I have never been so happy to get to a hostel in my life. Honestly though it was a pretty fun night, and I talked with a lot of interesting people.

P.S. Two night later, the night before I'm leaving Greg and I go out for a few more drinks and ran into Lan at the Go2 Bar. He greets us warmly, and tells us she's heading to Apocalyse Now. Greg wants to go later, but I have to get up early for a Mekong Tour. While we were walking to another place I run into the Two Isreali girls from the Nha Trang post. They want a drink, Greg wants a drink, I want to go home, but two Israeli women and a German are pretty strange bedfellows so I go for a drink. I left with Greg trying to get the girls go to Apocalyse. He never made it home that night. I hope it was a good night rather than bad and that everything turned out OK.

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Sunday, February 12, 2006

Nha Trang


Sorry if these posts seem more like Blahgs than Blogs, but I keep falling behind on the posts so always feel like I'm cramming in too much. I'll try to be better about it, but honestly I'm heading to the Mekong Delta and then up to Cambodia in the next few days, so it will probably get worse. Now that that's out of the way, on to Nha Trang.

There is really only one thing in Nha Trang...The Beach. Well two I guess, but the other one's water, and really they're kind of the same thing. I mean what's a beach without water? A desert that's what, so really, still just one thing. That being said I didn't really go to the beach, but I did go in the water. So I guess you can have water without beach, but not the other way around. And no I'm not drunk, I'm just rambling, sorry, I'm just really tired.

So after arriving on Nha Trang at 7 am, and still a little woozy from the sedative I took on the bus (Yay, Vietnamese no-prescription pharmacies!)(Don't do drugs kids...drugs are bad), I decided to book a boat tour of the islands surrounding Nha Trang. The trip seemed fun, and you got to go snorkeling, so why not. I had just enough time to shower and grab a bite before heading off on the tour. The first Island we went to was Hon Mun, and we got to do some snorkeling, but it wasn't all that great since the visibility wasn't that good, and there didn't seem to be that many fish either. It was nice to be in the water though, and I met two groups of Canadians, one of which was born in Ha Long Bay, and immigrated to Canada. So we hung out and then went off to Hon Mot. There we ate lunch which was pretty tasty. We even had Sea Urchin soup which was mighty fine. I'm always impressed that these stupid little tour boats have such good food. After lunch things got weird....Really weird.


The cook brought out a home-made drum kit, and the skipper brought out a guitar, and the tour guide and another person did the singing. They then played a selection of songs,and it was freaky. Then they started going around asking people where they were from, and then playing songs from that country. The first country...Canada. Then the tour guide said "Canada, same-same as England right?" Well no, but apparently close enough for him,as he broke out a Beatles tune. The guy knew a German tune (not 99 Luft Ballons though, much to my disappointment), an Israeli tune, and even a Danish tune...Canada though gets the fucking Beatles. I'm just glad he didn't do Celine Dion though, because no Canadian tune is still better than Celine Dion, or that Bitch Ann Murry too. After the music it was time for the "Floating Bar", which was just one of the crew sitting in a life ring with a case of mulberry wine on his lap. That being said we still dove in like crazy, and drank the stuff. It was actually a bit of work since the current was pushing us away from the boat, and therefore the booze, since he was tethered to it. That part was actually a lot of fun, and it was nice just floating there talking to different people. Honestly, the islands didn't hold much to see, so this distraction was much needed or the tour would have been a snooze fest. We also went to Hon Ton, and Hon Mieu, where there was a pretty cool aquarium. I even saw one of those little round basket boats from The Amazing Race, you know the one that no one could paddle, and Flo and Zach had to get help and then got penalized...yeah that one. It should be noted that I probably got that all screwed up, and all the other TARFlies, are going to be bombarding me with what really happened, and I'll never be invited to another TARCon again. Supposedly we could have rented them ourselves to try out, but I don't remember ever being offered, and therefore my TARFly status should be revoked anyway.

That night I finally got a chance to tour around Nha Trang, and yeah, I return to my original statement. There is really only one thing in Nha Trang(or two things, but I'm not starting that again!). I knew that some of the people I roomed with in Hoi An were in town, so after dinner I went looking for them. After awhile I decided to give up and head back to the guesthouse. Then I head a Vietnamese girl shout "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie" and familiar voices going "Oy, Oy, Oy" I turned to look and there they were across the street. So I went over and joined them in the middle of their pub crawl. They were on bar 3 of seven, and by bar 4 some of them were looking a little rough. In fact one of them proceeded to throw up beside her. She was taken home, and our numbers continued to dwindle as we went from bar to bar. 19 year olds..what rank amateurs. I did the math though and realized that these kids were 4 then fist time I puked from drinking too much (Hi Mom!). Our last stop of the evening...The Castle Argggggh, our quest was at an end...or the Nha Trang Sailing Club whatever you want to call it (I can guarantee that my parents read that last sentence and have the biggest WTF [that's What the Fuck, Mom] look on their face right now). Buy that time we were down to five, but soon it was just Tosh, Anna and myself, and Anna and I just danced the of the night, since we both had no need for any more drinks. Then I saw these two Israeli women that I first saw on the bus from Hanoi and Hoi An. Ever since then I've seen them all over the place, no matter what city I went to. I go to Cafe on Thu Wheels, there they are booking a tour. I saw them in Hoi An, and even on one of the other Tour boats in that morning. They're everywhere, and I've never said a word to them, because they've always come across as pain in the asses. I don't know why I felt that way, but it was a sense I got (well I do kind of know why, but I really don't feel like typing it out). Well, anyway, I was drunk, and I felt I just had to talk to them, or it would bother me the rest of my life. Turns out they were pretty nice, and once I told them I was Jewish, we were fast friends. The night soon ended, and so we said good-bye, and I went and joined Tosh and Anna on the beach for some mellowing out time.

And that was basically Nha Trang. I went to the beach the next day, but it was pretty cloudy so it wasn't all that good. The next day was my flight to Saigon, and it was storming so it was a good day to leave. Except that the storm caused our plane to be delayed 5 hours, so that kind of sucked, but it was still better than the bus.

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Thursday, February 09, 2006

Hoi An

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Hoi An. Hoi fucking An. I'm not sure why I had built this place up in my mind, and I'm not sure why I was dying to get here, but after all that build up, Hoi An actually turned out better than expected. On the bus from Hue, I ran into a few backpackers I met in Hanoi, so we decided to join together and try to find a place to stay. Sure the bus let us off in front of a nice place, but it must be some backpackers code, that you just can't take the first place that offered, you have to shop around. And booking ahead? That's just cheating. We tried to find a place that Lonely Planet recommended, but neglected to give the address for. Thanks Lonely Planet. We must have walked for about an hour before finding the place, and later we found out it was a 5 minute walk from the first place we went too. The Green Field Hotel was OK. Cleanish, cheap, had a pool and free internet. What clinched it for us though was when the guy said "free drinks". Our ears perked up, "how many?" we asked. "As much as you can drink he laughed". There had to be a catch, and of course there was. We asked how many, but neglected to ask "How long?" Turns out it was just for Happy Hour. Honestly though, the drinks were strong and nasty, so you really didn't want to drink them for that much longer.

I ended up sharing a room with Rachel and Jasmine, since the triple rooms were a queen bed and a single, and non of the guys wanted to share a room. I felt that I was kind of imposing, but we had all slept in the same dorm, so it really wasn't that different. After a dip in the non-heated pool, we decided to rent some motorbikes. The guy we were renting them from ran out however, so he ended up lending me his. We negociated a good price, and then he said he wanted to take us to his Aunts shop, so we can get some clothes made. Always a catch. Now Hoi An is famous for its tailors. They can copy anything, and have it done in a day including a few fittings. There are shops all over the place, and you can get a new suit made for like $50. So we went to his Aunts shop, and she started trying to sell us stuff, we tried to tell her we just wanted to know the location, since we weren't trying to buy stuff until tomorrow. So after that if was off on the motor bikes.

If there is one thing more fun than sitting on the back of a motorbike, it's riding one. Those things are fucking awesome. Sure it took me a bit of getting used to, and in the mean time nearly killed a few people, but still, too much fun. Hoi An isn't that big, so we just cruised around for a while, and met up with some other people and had dinner. Hoi An has some culinary specialties, which make it unique. One of them is Cao Lau Do, which is a noodle dish that can supposedly only be made in Hoi An, since the water used in the dish comes form an ancient Cham well in Hoi An. Aficionados can supposedly tell the difference, but since this was the first time I had eaten it, what did I know. The other thing that you only seem to find in Hoi An is Fried Won Tons. No idea why, but they're on all the menus...and they're good. They're usually topped with some kind of fruit salsa, and that makes them much tastier than the crap you can get in Chinese restaurant in North America.



The next day it was time to hit the beach. After the cold and rain of the North, it was nice to actually put on a pair of shorts and just sit in the sun. How 8 people can go to the beach , and all forget sunscreen is beyond me though. We're all fricking morons. Eventually Rachel went back to get some, but I still got a little burnt. The beach was too much fun. You can get anything there. Cold drinks, fruit, massages, pedicures, and this weird string-leg shaving thing, that apparently works, but I just don't get. We were buying so much stuff that at one point we had more hawkers than travelers. One of the coolest things, was what they did to pineapples. If you ordered a pineapple, they would take off all the leaves and making of a stem, then they cut away the outside, and did these diagonal slashed to remove the nasty woody bits. What you're left with in a pineapple on a stick, and you just eat it like a candy apple or something. I think I about 3 just so I can watch them make it. I've got to try it at home, but I know I'll just butcher it.

After the beach it was time to do some clothes shopping. All the pants I had brought are heavy cotton, and they're just too hot, so I figured I'd get some light pants made, and some 3/4 length pants. One of the other girls we were with, took us to the shop owned by the sister of the hotel owner she was staying with, but I felt I had to be loyal,a and go to the bike guys shop. I ran into him there as I was looking through catalogs, and he asked where my friends were, I said I didn't know, but he eventually saw them in another place, and he wasn't impressed. He started lecturing me about it, and how dissapointed he was, but I explained that I had known these people for a week or two, and therefore had zero control over what them did. I was there like I promised and that was all I could do. He eventually got over it, but it ruined any chance I had at negociating a good price.

Later at the hotel, I ran into another group of Aussie girls from Hanoi, and we hit the poolside bar for happy hour. Those drinks were nasty, but it don't stop us from pounding them back. I don't think I've seen a group of women that can drink as much as Australian women. Those girls are hard-core, and if you want a fun time, where ever you are, then find your nearest Aussie. If you have trouble finding one, just yell out "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie", and then head in the direction that the "Oy, Oy, Oy" came from. We ended up drinking all night, and it just got worse when they found out they had missed my birthday. We ended up shutting down the bar, taking some for the road and then cleaning out the hotel mini-bar. Then for some reason we thought it would be a good idea to head to the beach. That actually was a pretty good thing, because it was a nice clear night, and I think it was the first time I had seen a load of stars since landing in Vietnam.




The next day was a little rough. Did get in some sightseeing though. Hoi An was barely touched during the American War, so it still has this old French feel to it, that is then mixed with some cool Chinese buildings, and it makes for quite a beautiful place. Some of the streets are even closed to motorized traffic, which makes it even better. There were also some really cool markets by the water with a wide assortment of weird foods, and crazy fruits and vegetables. After walking around a bit, I headed back to the tailor to pick up my clothes, and on the way back, ran into the bike guy, who needed his bike back. We agreed to meet at the hotel in 20 minutes, and after we met, he never even asked for any money. He then offered to drive me the 50 km to My Son to see old Cham ruins. This was going to cost me I thought, no one can be that nice. Turns out one guy can. He took me for free,and even bought me breakfast and lunch. Every time I tried to pay, he would refuse and kind of turn away. At the end of the day I tried to give him $20 bucks, but he just said no and drove away. I was starting to feel a little guilty about not buying more clothes. I still am in shock over how nice that guy was. After that anytime he saw me on the street (and Hoi An is small, so you run into everybody at least twice a day), he would stop to chat. Totally amazing guy. The Cham ruins were pretty neat, but I think I was expecting more. Very interesting place though, and it just made me all the more excited to go to Ankor Wat.



I hung around Hoi An another day, and tried in vain to get on a train to Nha Trang, unfortunately they were all full, which meant I had another god damn 12 hour bus ride to Nha Trang. Learning my lesson though (finally), I did buy a plane ticket from Nha Trang to Saigon. Just the thought of a long bus ride made me ill. Plus the flight was only $35 bucks so how can you go wrong. I hadn't quite realized that my time left in Vietnam was rapidly coming to a close, so if I want to tour the Mekong, I really need to start moving. It meant missing Dalat, but oh well, I'll just have to come back. On my last day in Hoi An, everyone I knew had already gone so I decided to treat my self to a nice meal. I went to Hoi An Hai San, an amazing seafood restaurant run by a Swedish Ex-pat. The food was insanely good. It started with Steamed clams, then fried Calamari, then these huge grilled prawns, and ended with this grilled Tuna skewers. It definitely was one of the best meals I've eaten in Vietnam (the best being the dinner in Sapa with a Tay family...which I just realize I still haven't written about). For desert the guy homemade homemade passion fruit ice cream, which was a nice cool down after being in the Vietnamese sun all day.

The cherry on top of my trip to Hanoi, was that the bus wasn't full, so I got the whole row to myself. Me and this other Canadian were the only ones to get that, and every time the bus stopped we just prayed no one else would get on. So Hoi An....go there you can't have a bad time. Shopping, food, beach, Aussie girls (but not in that way, you pervs)....it's like paradise.

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Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Hue

Truthfully when I got off the bus in Hue, I just wanted to climb back on. The town looked like a dump, and the rain wasn't helping matters. Hoi An seemed like a far off dream at this point, and I just wanted to be transported there. The pain throughout my body, and the cold sweats from just thinking about getting back on the bus, finally made me reconsider. Plus, I only had to stay a night. I needed a bed...and a shower. Walking the streets looking for a place was made ever so enjoyable by the numerous hawkers who constantly pester you to ride their cyclo, or take you to there hotel, where they'll get a commission for bringing you in. I learned to ignore these in Hanoi, but my mood didn't make these people any more bearable. Finally I found a nice little guesthouse that Lonely Planet recommended, and while it looked a little shabby, it did have hot water and a nice balcony overlooking the street. All that for only $5. After washing the bus ride off me, it was time to see what Hue had to offer.

Not much it seemed. Hue isn't a gorgeous city, but since a lot of emperors lived in Hue, the surrounding area had a lot of Tombs and Palaces. Mark and Kate, from my Halong Bay trip had recommended Cafe on Thu Wheels for a good tour of the area, so I headed there after eating some breakfast on the street. Cafe on Thu Wheels is run by Thu, a women whose size is inversely proportional to her presence. Thu is amazing. She's one of those people that you meet that within seconds you would tell her all your darkest secrets if only she would ask. She just draws you in. I booked a tour for the next day, and I would still have time to catch the 2:30 bus out of Hue for Hoi An. Except that the bus was full already. Oh well, I guess it's two nights in Hue.

As I mentioned Hue was home to Numerous Emperors of Vietnam, and across the Perfume River from the city of Hue sits the former Royal Palace, which is a shadow of its former self due to the destruction during the French and American War. Hue lies just on the outskirts of the Demiliterized Zone, and was therefore bombed heavily. Restoration has occurred though, and the walls surrounding the city are still intact. While walking the Forbidden Purple City (which is now mostly ruins and grass), I ran into a guy I met in Hanoi, so we toured around together. Hue was actually starting to grow on me. It helped that the sun had finally come out. The palace was pretty amazing and it was hard to believe that just a few hundred meters away there was a sea of people and motorbikes honking away.

I later met up with Steve for dinner where we went to this restaurant that was built in this huge garden. Once again sheltered form the noise of the city we were able to enjoy a great meal, accompanied by some traditional Vietnamese folk musicians. It was a little touristy, but the food was good, and I was just happy not to be alone on my Birthday.

The next day one of Thu's drivers picked me up at my Hotel, and then proceeded to take me back to Thu's for some breakfast (which wasn't included in the tour price). It's a darn fine racket that lady runs. Coming with me on the tour were a few other people including a guy from Montreal. We then proceeded top leave Hue (Yay!), and follow the perfume river. We got to visit a nice Japanese covered bridge, and then on to the Thein Mu Pagoda. The pagoda is home to over 65 monks, and these were the monks that traveled to Saigon and set themselves on fire. Luckily they don't do that any more, but we did get to hear some great chanting. Supposedly they sometimes chant Bob Marley, but either I didn't recognize it, or it just wasn't done this time. Either way, the chanting was good, and had great beat.

After the Pagoda we once again followed the Perfume River to some Tombs. The best one was the Tomb of Tu Duc, who ruled in the mid 19th century. This guy likes it elaborate that's for sure, since the grounds went on for ever, and was just stunning. I guess it really was what you would expect for an emperor who had 104 concubines, and demanded that his tea be made with the dew that was collected off of the flowers in the morning. The peace and calm of both the pagodas and Tomb areas, was a welcome calm from the noise of the city.

Overall the tour was great, and it was fun to just be on the motorbikes all day. It turned out to be a good choice since a guy I met the next day, had done the boat tour, and said it was a rip off. All in all Hue was nice, not the Jewel of Vietnam, but the countryside more than made up for the city. That being said it was nice to finally board the bus for Hoi An, and luckily this one was only 4 hours.

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